I believe this is the first time that I’ll speak about death without a direct event attached to it, since the event comes from the possibility imposed from my own mind instead.
Have you ever been in bed, rolling left and right while trying to get to the perfect position to sleep but you really can’t find it? Even if you sleep with your loved one for a long time now, or with someone on your bed (not specifying) you may have had the chance to be the last one to go to sleep.
I experienced one of such moments recently and to be honest, it had been a while since the last one. The moment when you are truly alone and that black empty space begins to grow inside of your chest, throwing away everything you have ever done and everyone you have ever cared. Yes, you know what I mean don’t you? All the times that it happened to me, I had this sudden urge to break down and cry about my insignificance. But most of the times I just neglect it and shove the feeling away by replacing it with other feelings. At rare times however, I embrace that feeling and it just crushes me wholly, but then I can rebuild myself and I feel so much better afterwards.
Although death is inevitable and it will someday reach me, I must make sure to embrace the sadness so that I can better feel the happiness that there is to have. It is normal to have such moments and it is alright to give in to it. It is only human to do so.
This entry was also boosted because of a video that I saw today, telling the exact same moment that I have been experienced for so long, yet I was too afraid to even comment about it with my girlfriend or closest friends. There isn’t really a conclusion that I want to reach with this, since the conclusion you must draw it yourselves. I’ll leave the link to the video at the end of the entry.
Be well and I’ll see you next time!